Denial

I suppose I should be glad that it is finally October. If I am exhausted, lacking sleep, and feel like I've been working my brain overtime-- at least I put in that effort for a month total of work!! If it was still September I would probably... break down in tears! (Oh wait, that's what I did in September).

ANYHOW... The last few days of September were wonderful. It is AMAZING how finding a GSR immediately lifted my spirits. How fears of working 20 hours a week instantly lifted, while joy of having a job that will allow me to form a more stable schedule settled in. This does not take into account the obvious fact that I still have not rationalized 20 hours of week of work on top of my studies... but that can be October's obstacle, right?

Now let's see if you were paying attention... I got a GSR!! Yes, it's true. I am super excited! I will be helping with clinical research in Ophthalmology. Doing what exactly??... various things... My supervisor seems like he will be great! And I am excited about the people I will get to work with. I have to do a lot of reading about the eyes now! It's also fairly close to the building I have all my classes in, but I am going to be cursing Pittsburgh this winter when I have to walk up this monstrous hill to get there! I tried it in heels last week-- never again!

I'm still living (believe it or not) after a week testing the waters of graduate level exams. Wow! I knew graduate school was going to be difficult, and a lot of work... but now I know how it feels. All I can say is that I am SO GLAD that I KNOW this is what I want to do for a living. I remind myself of that everyday. Knowing that putting this effort in, racking my brain, and learning all the difficult genetics will be worth it because it will make me better at my job. Maybe it's good to feel like I don't know enough, because in a sense I never will. There will always be more to learn. (Don't remind me I said this when I'm freaking out about my next exam/paper/project).

Now it's time to allow happy Andrea to get some sleep so she can turn back on. I'm getting there. I really don't think I could have fathomed (is that even a word?) how hard adjusting to Pittsburgh would be. It is just now that I am beginning to realize that Pittsburgh can be wonderful, I can love the people in my classes, at work, etc... but I will never feel completely at home with Dave being so far away. So I just have to think of that as a good thing in a way. Knowing without a doubt that I am independent and can be successful, but that Dave is what makes me feel at home. I mean heck, that's part of why we're getting married right?? Ok- I'll spare you more about that! Although it did spur tangents of thoughts about me not being able to plan a wedding on top of everything! But maybe that will be another post. I can see it now-- How to plan an out-of-state wedding when you have no time--