I need a break. A real break. My mind does not function well knowing that this will not be coming until DECEMBER of next year. Spring break wasn't exactly relaxing... and coughing for 2 weeks is exhausting.
I have done my best to not complain much, but really, this is a lot to take on. Today we met with two of our site supervisors. They seem extremely nice and helpful. I am SO excited to start seeing patients... but terrified that it will be too much work to handle with a GSR and couple classes next year. I need a full week off. A full week with no thoughts but of life away from work. No exams, no sickness, just time to relax. Sigh... I need to stop hoping for what will not happen.
I was going to give an outline of my life to come... but that doesn't need to be documented. I need to know that I will get through it. And I need to focus on the fact that I should plan things very carefully, but really life will be broken into 3-week branches... Sometimes I think I'm CRAZY, but then I remind myself that I'm crazy because this is NOT my job YET. And once the TRAINING is complete, I can start living my life in the best way possible: with a job I love to go to, and a man I love to come home to. And nights won't be spent studying/ worrying/ missing and waiting for that life to begin. So here's to me getting through it! 1 year to go!! (all the 2nd years are in the middle of defending their theses!)
Starting tomorrow/tonight I start a new schedule. Seeing as I start seeing candidates for my study next week at 7:30 am, and that means I have to be ready to go by 7:00 am... I need to go to bed earlier. No-matter-what. So why not start tomorrow? I'll leave in the morning and do what I would've done later at night!
This post was more depressing than I intended... my apologies. This is likely because I have passed week 10 of the semester, or because I'm PMSing... Perhaps tomorrow I'll actually talk about my Spring Break...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Take a Step Back...
Sometimes you have to stop what you're doing, and take a step backwards to move ahead. I am trying to move ahead in a different direction. Desperately trying to find a new mindset that works for me to live day-to-day without concern for the future. It is certainly a hard thing to do. Bad habits are hard to break. They say 1 week of doing something will turn it into a habit, and I think habits take about 30 days to break. (Don't think too hard about that one, because the math will never work out!)
Some things recently make me seriously rethink the importance I put on small things... and how those things have not always been weighed equally. I am used to setting VERY high standards for myself. It used to be motivation, now it's hard to tell. But the problem is when I start setting too high of standards for other people. Then there is no way for them to please me! And I'm sick of getting upset because of stupid things.
So here's what I am starting to acknowledge,
*You can't expect to be your best friend's best friend (unless you are/ are going to marry them...)
*Friends in the making can make you just as happy as friends you've had forever
*Time apart does NOT get easier... you do NOT get used to it
*The older you get, the more sleep you need... but that means you must sacrifice something else!
*You're supposed to plan ahead, but things come up that you do not plan on... I'm still working on how to plan on the unexpected...
*Getting ahead feels great, but it's no reason to get behind.
*Being with people makes me the happiest person in the world
*Having people tell you that you are doing well/look nice/ too hard on yourself are all necessary at some point... and if I appreciate being told those things it needs to be "paid forward"
*You can change who you are, but you don't have to!
*After Dave, family is certainly what I miss most
On that note-- I am super excited about getting to see my sister in Philly this weekend! My "spring break" now is up to 4 or 5 homework assignment, but I don't care. I need the break! 2 tests down, 1 to go!
Some things recently make me seriously rethink the importance I put on small things... and how those things have not always been weighed equally. I am used to setting VERY high standards for myself. It used to be motivation, now it's hard to tell. But the problem is when I start setting too high of standards for other people. Then there is no way for them to please me! And I'm sick of getting upset because of stupid things.
So here's what I am starting to acknowledge,
*You can't expect to be your best friend's best friend (unless you are/ are going to marry them...)
*Friends in the making can make you just as happy as friends you've had forever
*Time apart does NOT get easier... you do NOT get used to it
*The older you get, the more sleep you need... but that means you must sacrifice something else!
*You're supposed to plan ahead, but things come up that you do not plan on... I'm still working on how to plan on the unexpected...
*Getting ahead feels great, but it's no reason to get behind.
*Being with people makes me the happiest person in the world
*Having people tell you that you are doing well/look nice/ too hard on yourself are all necessary at some point... and if I appreciate being told those things it needs to be "paid forward"
*You can change who you are, but you don't have to!
*After Dave, family is certainly what I miss most
On that note-- I am super excited about getting to see my sister in Philly this weekend! My "spring break" now is up to 4 or 5 homework assignment, but I don't care. I need the break! 2 tests down, 1 to go!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)