I saw a similar post that was either 5 or 10 years, but as I was waiting for the bus this morning I realized how much has happened in the past year... and how much more will happen this coming year. No wonder life seems to fly past!
A YEAR AGO...-I just found out that I got accepted into several genetic counseling programs and had to decide which to go to!
A YEAR FROM NOW- I will find out where I will have my first job (hopefully!)
A YEAR AGO- I graduated with my Bachelor's of Science in Psychology
A YEAR FROM NOW- I will graduate with my Masters of Science in Human Genetics
A YEAR AGO- I was busy planning my move to Pittsburgh
A YEAR FROM NOW- I will be busy moving in with Dave!
A YEAR AGO- I thought Dave would probably wait a year to propose!
A YEAR FROM NOW- I will be getting married to Dave!! (after a 23 month engagement!)
A YEAR AGO- I did not know what GWAS stood for
A YEAR FROM NOW- I will publish my masters thesis related to data I collected for a GWAS study
A YEAR AGO- I knew relatively little about genetics, and thought I knew a ton about psychology
A YEAR FROM TODAY- I will know a ton about both, and be ready to continue sharing my knowledge!
A YEAR AGO- only 1 of my friends was engaged, none were married.
A YEAR FROM TODAY- at least 2 of the couples I am close friends with will be married, and 1 couple will be getting married a mere 5 weeks later.
Interesting isn't it?? This year certainly is a transition year, my life is drastically shifting... and I am just trying to keep up with the pace of the changes. Here's to hoping the next year goes by as fast as the past year has... and that it goes better!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
When blogging isn't private enough
I don't want to limit my family from being able to easily read my blog... yet because I don't know who is actually reading this thing, I tend to avoid blogging. Somethings just have to be kept more personal. After all, I am starting my professional career... so I better stay professional for the public, right?
Life as a graduate student is hard. You are expected to act like a professional, but you are still very much a student. You are expected to do the work of a professional, but you get none of the credit for your effort. It is quite the sandwich to fit into. Because really... you can't act with authority if you aren't allowed to.
So year #1 is over. Done. Which means...
CLINICAL ROTATIONS!!!!
Time to celebrate! I am in week 2 of 39. LOVING it... I certainly learn a million times better in this environment. Well, for this rotation at least. They are so instructional. The questions they ask help me understand the thought process that goes behind case preparation. And the more I see, the more I absorb. I am so thrilled to get to see cases, and apply all my knowledge while continuing to learn a ton more! Just think, in 1 year I will have graduated... and will truly be a Master in Science!! (pretty sweet, huh?)
Life as a graduate student is hard. You are expected to act like a professional, but you are still very much a student. You are expected to do the work of a professional, but you get none of the credit for your effort. It is quite the sandwich to fit into. Because really... you can't act with authority if you aren't allowed to.
So year #1 is over. Done. Which means...
CLINICAL ROTATIONS!!!!
Time to celebrate! I am in week 2 of 39. LOVING it... I certainly learn a million times better in this environment. Well, for this rotation at least. They are so instructional. The questions they ask help me understand the thought process that goes behind case preparation. And the more I see, the more I absorb. I am so thrilled to get to see cases, and apply all my knowledge while continuing to learn a ton more! Just think, in 1 year I will have graduated... and will truly be a Master in Science!! (pretty sweet, huh?)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Why things are more complicated than you think...
Very rarely do I get inspiration for something 'unique' to blog about. I don't have children reaching milestones that are new and exciting. I don't travel to exotic places. Truly, I am a pretty boring person. High school, 5 years at OSU for undergrad (where I switched from genetics to psych, but then discovered genetic counseling!), and now graduate school... I have dated the same guy for the past 5 years. I have never been overseas... I have been fortunate to travel many places-- although with this new flu outbreak I'm kind of happy to not have been on a plane recently.
ANYHOW... My facebook note inspired me to write this entry! I started thinking of the MANY ways in which I have been late. Mind you-- this posting is limited in viewing capasity (if it's possible)... haha
THE WAYS THAT I RUN LATE: A Collection of Ways I Recall Have Happened...
-Not being able to find my....
Keys, Shoes, Coat, Scarf, Phone, Umbrella, Notes, Sunglasses...
-Turning around because I realize I can't find or forgot my...
Cell phone charger, purse, wallet, cell phone, to pick up something,
- Losing track of time
- Alarm clock issues:
Accidentally turning it off and falling back to sleep, not hearing it go off, leaving it on silent, setting it to pm instead of am, forgetting to set it, setting it for the wrong time,
- Playing too many games (and losing track of time)
- Talking to friends for too long (and losing track of time)
- Misjudging how long something will take me
- Driving past the place I needed to be
- Misjudging how far away where I am going is
- Mixing up the day of the week, and thinking class doesn't start until later in the day
- Getting caught up in small tasks (and losing track of time... notice a pattern??)
- Bus-related problems:
Double checking the bus schedule to find that it is leaving at the time I am checking!, missing my bus stop, just missing the bus!
- Having to go to the bathroom right before leaving
- Forgetting to wear my watch!
- Booking events too close to eachother (one runs late, so you're late to the next!)
- Procrastinating... (which I actually believe to be separate from many of the above!)
- Having a test take too long
- Meetings running late
- Waiting in line (traffic, at the store, etc)
- GETTING LOST!
- Being sick?
- finishing an assignment
____________________________________________________________________
Now, do you see why living in my shoes is so much more complex than it probably is for others? Who in their right mind could go through a checklist that long and get out the door on time? So, then I forget things...
I am SURE you can think of many others. The weird thing is, that I know that these things make me run late. So I account for them. I try to catch the bus before the one I need. I try to plan on getting somewhere early so that I won't end up being late. I tell myself that I need a lot more time to get ready than I do! It is quite the process to get out the door, and I bet a large majority of people don't put 2 seconds of thought into it. So next time you are wondering why I am running around frantic, or why I make a million check lists... remember- I don't want to run late, I just have to account for a lot of things that could go wrong!
ANYHOW... My facebook note inspired me to write this entry! I started thinking of the MANY ways in which I have been late. Mind you-- this posting is limited in viewing capasity (if it's possible)... haha
THE WAYS THAT I RUN LATE: A Collection of Ways I Recall Have Happened...
-Not being able to find my....
Keys, Shoes, Coat, Scarf, Phone, Umbrella, Notes, Sunglasses...
-Turning around because I realize I can't find or forgot my...
Cell phone charger, purse, wallet, cell phone, to pick up something,
- Losing track of time
- Alarm clock issues:
Accidentally turning it off and falling back to sleep, not hearing it go off, leaving it on silent, setting it to pm instead of am, forgetting to set it, setting it for the wrong time,
- Playing too many games (and losing track of time)
- Talking to friends for too long (and losing track of time)
- Misjudging how long something will take me
- Driving past the place I needed to be
- Misjudging how far away where I am going is
- Mixing up the day of the week, and thinking class doesn't start until later in the day
- Getting caught up in small tasks (and losing track of time... notice a pattern??)
- Bus-related problems:
Double checking the bus schedule to find that it is leaving at the time I am checking!, missing my bus stop, just missing the bus!
- Having to go to the bathroom right before leaving
- Forgetting to wear my watch!
- Booking events too close to eachother (one runs late, so you're late to the next!)
- Procrastinating... (which I actually believe to be separate from many of the above!)
- Having a test take too long
- Meetings running late
- Waiting in line (traffic, at the store, etc)
- GETTING LOST!
- Being sick?
- finishing an assignment
____________________________________________________________________
Now, do you see why living in my shoes is so much more complex than it probably is for others? Who in their right mind could go through a checklist that long and get out the door on time? So, then I forget things...
I am SURE you can think of many others. The weird thing is, that I know that these things make me run late. So I account for them. I try to catch the bus before the one I need. I try to plan on getting somewhere early so that I won't end up being late. I tell myself that I need a lot more time to get ready than I do! It is quite the process to get out the door, and I bet a large majority of people don't put 2 seconds of thought into it. So next time you are wondering why I am running around frantic, or why I make a million check lists... remember- I don't want to run late, I just have to account for a lot of things that could go wrong!
Friday, April 24, 2009
The heart knows best
I was looking through an old poem journal I used to write in at the beginning of college and found this poem written 1 month after Dave and I started dating... It's as if I already knew he was the one!
What is this feeling,
So familiar, yet so new?
Am I truly floating
In this sky of crystal blue?
I was caught in my free fall,
Just swept into the light.
Words told me of freedom,
If I'd end my fight.
So tired of searching,
Being lonely and cold.
Then before me sitting,
A heart pouring gold.
I fear no more falling,
No struggles nor shadows.
Only sparkling comfort,
That continuously grows.
and grows and grows.... that was written over 5 years ago. Crazy.
I also realized that as of August I will have been a freshman in high school 10 years ago. I don't know why, but that makes me feel old... so incredibly distant from that time in my life. Yet, when I think about the memories so many are still so vivid in my mind. Strange how that works.
Anyhow 2009 is breezing by. It's not an easy breeze, more like a tornado. Definitely moving at a faster pace than should be allowed. It makes me happy to know that the heavy coursework is done. Now I have to work hard to show that it was classwork, NOT my entire ability to perform that suffered so far this year. I'm starting to build a lot more confidence, it's the thick skin that is hard to develop. I have Midwestern skin, not east coast skin.
I'm excited for this weekend. Dave is coming, and so is Leah! Yay!!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Dreaming of Traveling... and Birthday Wishes
Why have I not used my passport?
Back in 2002 I got my passport. I think I may have used it when we went through Canada on the cruise. Needless to say, that is not what I had hoped to leave it at. Last night I had a dream, I don't remember who... but someone was asking me why I don't just travel. Just go to Europe... or Asia... or Africa... or Australia... Just go for it. Not to worry about the cost, and not to worry about the time.
Sigh, it must be the last week of class. My answer to that question is much too rational, but it makes me fear I will never travel like I want to. I can't afford it (which is a partial lie, because I could right now... but not when considering saving for the future). And I don't have the time (which is mostly true,--can we say graduate school and wedding?)
But here is what I was thinking. When WILL it be a good time? I will get married 2 weeks after I graduate. Dave and I then won't really be able to afford to go on that kind of trip, let alone will he be able to get the time off. And I won't want to go travel by myself right after we get married, plus I'll probably have to start working not too long after.
What to do? I only wish I knew!! My passport expires in 2012 (although I thought about it, and when I change my name then I suppose it will expire the day that I do that!). Yikes! That means it will expire in 13 months!
:) 13 months from tomorrow is the wedding!! I can't believe I've been engaged for 10 months! Crazy.
AND NOW... I think I may realize why I had this dream last night---
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! My mom is 61 today! It's funny how when you are a little kid you think that your parents being in their 60's will never happen, that they will have white hair and be old (you know... like your grandparents who are in their 60's at the time you are thinking this).
But when I look at my mom, I don't think she's old. I think she is full of life, and living the life! My mom LOVES to travel, and is fortunate enough to be able to travel all over the world. I only hope to be as fortunate. She has 4 grandchildren whom she adores, and while they may destroy the house... their pictures adorn every room of the house!! She absolutely hates it when I am sick or upset, and even from far away finds ways to make me feel better (like sending cookies she had made for her and dad)! She also loves to watch anyone in our family succeed.
I am so fortunate to have such a loving family!! Thank you for your love mom! Happy Birthday.
Back in 2002 I got my passport. I think I may have used it when we went through Canada on the cruise. Needless to say, that is not what I had hoped to leave it at. Last night I had a dream, I don't remember who... but someone was asking me why I don't just travel. Just go to Europe... or Asia... or Africa... or Australia... Just go for it. Not to worry about the cost, and not to worry about the time.
Sigh, it must be the last week of class. My answer to that question is much too rational, but it makes me fear I will never travel like I want to. I can't afford it (which is a partial lie, because I could right now... but not when considering saving for the future). And I don't have the time (which is mostly true,--can we say graduate school and wedding?)
But here is what I was thinking. When WILL it be a good time? I will get married 2 weeks after I graduate. Dave and I then won't really be able to afford to go on that kind of trip, let alone will he be able to get the time off. And I won't want to go travel by myself right after we get married, plus I'll probably have to start working not too long after.
What to do? I only wish I knew!! My passport expires in 2012 (although I thought about it, and when I change my name then I suppose it will expire the day that I do that!). Yikes! That means it will expire in 13 months!
:) 13 months from tomorrow is the wedding!! I can't believe I've been engaged for 10 months! Crazy.
AND NOW... I think I may realize why I had this dream last night---
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! My mom is 61 today! It's funny how when you are a little kid you think that your parents being in their 60's will never happen, that they will have white hair and be old (you know... like your grandparents who are in their 60's at the time you are thinking this).
But when I look at my mom, I don't think she's old. I think she is full of life, and living the life! My mom LOVES to travel, and is fortunate enough to be able to travel all over the world. I only hope to be as fortunate. She has 4 grandchildren whom she adores, and while they may destroy the house... their pictures adorn every room of the house!! She absolutely hates it when I am sick or upset, and even from far away finds ways to make me feel better (like sending cookies she had made for her and dad)! She also loves to watch anyone in our family succeed.
I am so fortunate to have such a loving family!! Thank you for your love mom! Happy Birthday.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
What happens when we pass week 10
I need a break. A real break. My mind does not function well knowing that this will not be coming until DECEMBER of next year. Spring break wasn't exactly relaxing... and coughing for 2 weeks is exhausting.
I have done my best to not complain much, but really, this is a lot to take on. Today we met with two of our site supervisors. They seem extremely nice and helpful. I am SO excited to start seeing patients... but terrified that it will be too much work to handle with a GSR and couple classes next year. I need a full week off. A full week with no thoughts but of life away from work. No exams, no sickness, just time to relax. Sigh... I need to stop hoping for what will not happen.
I was going to give an outline of my life to come... but that doesn't need to be documented. I need to know that I will get through it. And I need to focus on the fact that I should plan things very carefully, but really life will be broken into 3-week branches... Sometimes I think I'm CRAZY, but then I remind myself that I'm crazy because this is NOT my job YET. And once the TRAINING is complete, I can start living my life in the best way possible: with a job I love to go to, and a man I love to come home to. And nights won't be spent studying/ worrying/ missing and waiting for that life to begin. So here's to me getting through it! 1 year to go!! (all the 2nd years are in the middle of defending their theses!)
Starting tomorrow/tonight I start a new schedule. Seeing as I start seeing candidates for my study next week at 7:30 am, and that means I have to be ready to go by 7:00 am... I need to go to bed earlier. No-matter-what. So why not start tomorrow? I'll leave in the morning and do what I would've done later at night!
This post was more depressing than I intended... my apologies. This is likely because I have passed week 10 of the semester, or because I'm PMSing... Perhaps tomorrow I'll actually talk about my Spring Break...
I have done my best to not complain much, but really, this is a lot to take on. Today we met with two of our site supervisors. They seem extremely nice and helpful. I am SO excited to start seeing patients... but terrified that it will be too much work to handle with a GSR and couple classes next year. I need a full week off. A full week with no thoughts but of life away from work. No exams, no sickness, just time to relax. Sigh... I need to stop hoping for what will not happen.
I was going to give an outline of my life to come... but that doesn't need to be documented. I need to know that I will get through it. And I need to focus on the fact that I should plan things very carefully, but really life will be broken into 3-week branches... Sometimes I think I'm CRAZY, but then I remind myself that I'm crazy because this is NOT my job YET. And once the TRAINING is complete, I can start living my life in the best way possible: with a job I love to go to, and a man I love to come home to. And nights won't be spent studying/ worrying/ missing and waiting for that life to begin. So here's to me getting through it! 1 year to go!! (all the 2nd years are in the middle of defending their theses!)
Starting tomorrow/tonight I start a new schedule. Seeing as I start seeing candidates for my study next week at 7:30 am, and that means I have to be ready to go by 7:00 am... I need to go to bed earlier. No-matter-what. So why not start tomorrow? I'll leave in the morning and do what I would've done later at night!
This post was more depressing than I intended... my apologies. This is likely because I have passed week 10 of the semester, or because I'm PMSing... Perhaps tomorrow I'll actually talk about my Spring Break...
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Take a Step Back...
Sometimes you have to stop what you're doing, and take a step backwards to move ahead. I am trying to move ahead in a different direction. Desperately trying to find a new mindset that works for me to live day-to-day without concern for the future. It is certainly a hard thing to do. Bad habits are hard to break. They say 1 week of doing something will turn it into a habit, and I think habits take about 30 days to break. (Don't think too hard about that one, because the math will never work out!)
Some things recently make me seriously rethink the importance I put on small things... and how those things have not always been weighed equally. I am used to setting VERY high standards for myself. It used to be motivation, now it's hard to tell. But the problem is when I start setting too high of standards for other people. Then there is no way for them to please me! And I'm sick of getting upset because of stupid things.
So here's what I am starting to acknowledge,
*You can't expect to be your best friend's best friend (unless you are/ are going to marry them...)
*Friends in the making can make you just as happy as friends you've had forever
*Time apart does NOT get easier... you do NOT get used to it
*The older you get, the more sleep you need... but that means you must sacrifice something else!
*You're supposed to plan ahead, but things come up that you do not plan on... I'm still working on how to plan on the unexpected...
*Getting ahead feels great, but it's no reason to get behind.
*Being with people makes me the happiest person in the world
*Having people tell you that you are doing well/look nice/ too hard on yourself are all necessary at some point... and if I appreciate being told those things it needs to be "paid forward"
*You can change who you are, but you don't have to!
*After Dave, family is certainly what I miss most
On that note-- I am super excited about getting to see my sister in Philly this weekend! My "spring break" now is up to 4 or 5 homework assignment, but I don't care. I need the break! 2 tests down, 1 to go!
Some things recently make me seriously rethink the importance I put on small things... and how those things have not always been weighed equally. I am used to setting VERY high standards for myself. It used to be motivation, now it's hard to tell. But the problem is when I start setting too high of standards for other people. Then there is no way for them to please me! And I'm sick of getting upset because of stupid things.
So here's what I am starting to acknowledge,
*You can't expect to be your best friend's best friend (unless you are/ are going to marry them...)
*Friends in the making can make you just as happy as friends you've had forever
*Time apart does NOT get easier... you do NOT get used to it
*The older you get, the more sleep you need... but that means you must sacrifice something else!
*You're supposed to plan ahead, but things come up that you do not plan on... I'm still working on how to plan on the unexpected...
*Getting ahead feels great, but it's no reason to get behind.
*Being with people makes me the happiest person in the world
*Having people tell you that you are doing well/look nice/ too hard on yourself are all necessary at some point... and if I appreciate being told those things it needs to be "paid forward"
*You can change who you are, but you don't have to!
*After Dave, family is certainly what I miss most
On that note-- I am super excited about getting to see my sister in Philly this weekend! My "spring break" now is up to 4 or 5 homework assignment, but I don't care. I need the break! 2 tests down, 1 to go!
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