Ok, I should not be blogging tonight. I should be doing one of the thousand things I need to do. But I really need to stop, take a second for myself to just relax. Truly relax (yeah right!). Then I can restart fresh, full mind in full control and finish this week strong.
What brings on this strong desire on a TUESDAY night? Well, folks... today felt like a Thursday. This week I haven't exactly had my game-face on. Yesterday I went ALL DAY without realizing that I had a shirt that says "Inspired" on inside out making it say something closer to "deripsnI" (which is less than inspiring). Yes, people were interviewing at Pitt for the first day... so I am quite certain it may have made an impression. Someone had to have noticed and NOT told me... Today I decided to challenge that moment... and spilled the ENTIRE contents of my water bottle. Half went right into my bad (thank goodness it was NOT the pocket with folders). The rest all over the chair and floor at work. Needless to say, I was already flustered before the incident. My day at work completely deflated all of my energy. And my frustration left me STARVING and unprepared to settle down to work. Ok, so fasting for my doctor's appointment may have influenced my hunger...
Which reminds me... this morning I had a doctors appointment. My new PCP is extremely nice, and very good. She was very on top of things, and I enjoyed her sharing her thought process with me. Inevitably, my arm hurts after my appointment today... I decided to go ahead and get the Gardasil vaccine. Wow- what an unusual phenomenon that was. My mind has had trouble deciding to get this vaccine. I convinced myself that working in health care makes this a good idea, but even as I got the shot my mind was reeling with the decision I had made. I almost told the nurse "never mind". Why did this happen? I am/was not afraid of the shot itself. Sure there's the pinch... but that's fine. It was the odd circumstance that I was in. I had a CHOICE of whether or not to have a vaccine for a virus that I know of only 1 person that has had. (granted their could easily be more people-- but this person wasn't sick or dying of HPV so it's not like a devastating virus in my subconscious). Measles, mumps, hepatitis... you don't really get a choice of having those vaccines- your parents decide for you. Then when you go in for a booster shot, it seems like something that is truly required. (technically it is for various places...) ANYHOW- the choice kept being brought up and I knew it was in my best interest so I said yes today. As she was preparing the shot I thought to myself how there was no coming back.. how there are no long term studies on this vaccine... etc etc. And then the pinch of the shot did not bother me, it was the fluid injection. Every tiny pump of the needle made me think about how there was no turning back. If there are serious side-effects that occur in 30 years, I will not be able to do anything! Surreal experience. Now-- I KNOW that I will most likely be perfectly fine, and I am the type of person that already will stop worrying about something that I can do nothing about. I do not regret in the least this decision... but I was fairly fascinated by my thought process and needed to comment.
I'm not sure if this would be related or not... but after the shot I had blood drawn, and for the first time in a long time I did not feel woozy afterwards. Not the least bit! I was perfectly fine to go. All I had in my system for the previous 15 hours was water! Crazy!! Granted- this time I told myself NOT to relax when she stuck me. I think that I sometimes relax myself so much my blood pressure drops, causing me to faint! CRAZY!!
Alright. I'm feeling slightly re-charged. Time for an early to bed so I can be early to rise tomorrow! (and I will get work done then instead!)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh, boy. That much worry and thought over a vaccine for yourself. Dear Lord...you'd better wait to have kids. Or at least get on an anti-anxiety med first. There are hundreds of thousands of decisions that you make in the first several years that you will never know the long term answer. Should I feed my baby organic baby food? Should I breastfeed? Should I let him cry-it-out or take him into my bed? Should I vaccinnate for MMR? Should I give him the chicken pox vaccine? Should I give him cough syrup or the nebulizer? Should I let him eat that marble (No!) You never know the long term outcome and with kids there are rarely good studies to back them up.
I'm just saying...
I suppose I forgot to emphasize 2 important things about why this seemed like such an odd reaction for myself.
1)This vaccine is very new, unlike most others I got which have been around for close to 100 years now.
2) The reason I know the above is because of the public health classes, where we talk about all the good and bad things related to finding things such as a good vaccine. It's hard to explain, but this particular one got to me. (A major part of it is that this disease is largely transmitted sexually... so my mind kept thinking it was pointless to get. You wouldn't get a vaccine for a virus only found in Africa if you were not planning on going there...
Anyhow, I know that there are many decisions that must be made on not good studies... but usually you still have to choose something for your child and I am very aware of that. I actually could tell you what I would do already for the questions you posed! :) Which makes me feel good
Well...it's good you already have all the answers ;) I should call you sometime when I need one...
Hang in there with school and missing Dave. I don't envy you, but I'm super proud!
Sorry about my last comment...a little passive-aggressive. ;) It's been a long day...
It's ok, mine was too. I didn't know how to comment to your response... because my intention was not to imply that I had all the answers! I certainly don't, but no one can have answers to many questions! (mainly because there's not always 1 right answer). I understand about the long day (again, in a very different way)... but that's probably why my response was a little 'off' from what I intended. :) I hope tomorrow isn't so long for you!
Post a Comment